So Bruce has now given us his 51-100 things that restaurant staffers should never do... strangely, many of them seem taken verbatim from the myriad comments spawned from his last list. Perhaps he only had come up with 50 to begin with and figured he could cull the rest from an outraged or appreciative public. At any rate, I agree more often (approximately 80% of the time!) with his second 50 than the 50% from my last analysis. Again, bold means I agree (in general), and my comments are in italics.51. If there is a service charge, alert your guests when you present the bill. It’s not a secret or a trick.
In Doha, it's always a mystery -- is the service included or not?
52. Know your menu inside and out. If you serve Balsam Farm candy-striped beets, know something about Balsam Farm and candy-striped beets.
This was, again, one of my biggest problems with Maggie's. We went there specifically for the local, organic, sustainable food -- but never heard about it once.
53. Do not let guests double-order unintentionally; remind the guest who orders ratatouille that zucchini comes with the entree.
54. If there is a prix fixe, let guests know about it. Do not force anyone to ask for the “special” menu.
55. Do not serve an amuse-bouche without detailing the ingredients. Allergies are a serious matter; peanut oil can kill. (This would also be a good time to ask if anyone has any allergies.)
I'm down with the server detailing the contents of an amuse-bouche (since you didn't order it yourself and it's nice to have some inkling of what you're amusing your bouche with), but any responsible person with allergies will be smart enough to ask when random food is brought to the table: "Does this have X?"
56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)
57. Bring the pepper mill with the appetizer. Do not make people wait or beg for a condiment.
58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.
59. Do not leave place settings that are not being used.
60. Bring all the appetizers at the same time, or do not bring the appetizers. Same with entrees and desserts.
YES. It's the worst when you get your appetizer first, and you know the others are waiting, and they're pressuring you to eat, and you'd like to wait for everyone to be served...
61. Do not stand behind someone who is ordering. Make eye contact. Thank him or her.
62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.
62(a). Do not let a glass sit empty for too long.
Yes. Hovering isn't good, but neither is abandonment. I drink a lot of water and always appreciate a prompt refill. 62(b) -- always refill everyone's glass at the table, even if it's just a top-off (unless it'll make it slop over the rim).
63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right.
God yes. I still remember the Cosi (on King Street, Alexandria) debacle when we ordered the smores and were told they were "all out" -- and then we proceeded to watch as another waitress brought several of her tables the smores platters. When we brought this up to our waiter, he went on a diatribe about how the waitress was "hoarding" the graham crackers. We asked for a manager, who tried to blame the other waitress again. Finally I said, "I don't care whose fault it was. What are you going to give us?" and within two minutes, we were walking out with free entree coupons. It's not that hard, huh?
64. Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.
Direct from the comments section of the previous post.
65. Always remove used silverware and replace it with new.
I love it when this happens. It makes me feel special.
66. Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.
Duh. Who would?
67. Never stack the plates on the table. They make a racket. Shhhhhh.
Depends. I mean, which is worse -- stacking plates or returning five times, interrupting each time, to clear the plates?
68. Do not reach across one guest to serve another.
69. If a guest is having trouble making a decision, help out. If someone wants to know your life story, keep it short. If someone wants to meet the chef, make an effort.
I agree with this -- but it's in direct contradiction to his previous #10, #43, #44, which warned against personal interaction or recommendations.
70. Never deliver a hot plate without warning the guest. And never ask a guest to pass along that hot plate.
71. Do not race around the dining room as if there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency. (Unless there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency.)
72. Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared.
So you are supposed to disguise a non-freshly prepared salad with a room temperature plate?
73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.
Or two spoons if the guests requested to share.
74. Let the guests know the restaurant is out of something before the guests read the menu and order the missing dish.
Yes, but again, I don't see how this is different than letting the guests know that something on the menu is in short supply (which he insists not to do, #11). Both are useful bits of information. And it would be really helpful in Doha, where anything that looks like it would be freshly prepared ends up not being available when it's time to order.
75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.
This is basically the same advice as #17: don't take away someone's plate when others are still eating.
76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.
77. Do not disappear.
GOD yes. Or if you have to take a break, ask a fellow waiter to check in on the table in your absence.
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.
Another one straight out of the comments section.
79. When someone orders a drink “straight up,” determine if he wants it “neat” — right out of the bottle — or chilled. Up is up, but “straight up” is debatable.
80. Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.
Come on -- that's not fair. Then the bartender doesn't get a tip.
81. Know what the bar has in stock before each meal.
And I don't expect my waitstaff to have a bartender's knowledge. If I order a drink, it's okay with me if they go check to make sure they have the proper ingredients.
82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.
83. Ask if your guest wants his coffee with dessert or after. Same with an after-dinner drink.
84. Do not refill a coffee cup compulsively. Ask if the guest desires a refill.
84(a). Do not let an empty coffee cup sit too long before asking if a refill is desired.
85. Never bring a check until someone asks for it. Then give it to the person who asked for it.
But, as per #77, don't disappear right at the end of the meal, making us wait for ten minutes, looking about frantically and losing the train of conversation, to try to signal to you that we want the check. Make yourself available at the end of the meal so we can naturally ask for the bill.
86. If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.
87. Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid.
It would be nice, if it seemed we were staying for a few extra minutes, to have a refill on water, for example. And what if we change our minds and want to stay for dessert? It's nice to not be rushed out the door.
88. Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.
89. Never patronize a guest who has a complaint or suggestion; listen, take it seriously, address it.
90. If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cellphone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests.
This is a manager's or host's responsibility, not a waiter. (I could imagine someone obnoxious enough to be talking loudly on a cell phone in a restaurant would also be obnoxious to a waiter asking them to stop.)
91. If someone complains about the music, do something about it, without upsetting the ambiance. (The music is not for the staff — it’s for the customers.)
Yeah, but if no other customer has complained, then it may be because everyone else likes (or is at least tolerating) the music. A restaurant is not a DJ-by-request radio show. One complaining customer shouldn't dictate the ambiance for everyone. Occasional dislike of music is the price one pays for interacting with the greater world outside of one's own house/car bubble.
92. Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.
In this day and age of CDs and iPods, is this even still a problem?
93. Do not play brass — no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.
So, so random.
94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn’t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bublé, you have just ruined a meal.
Whatever. I've enjoyed listening to whole CDs at restaurants before. See my comments on #91.
95. Never hover long enough to make people feel they are being watched or hurried, especially when they are figuring out the tip or signing for the check.
96. Do not say anything after a tip — be it good, bad, indifferent — except, “Thank you very much.”
97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her.
This would be super-cool, but I don't understand how it's realistic, either for business reasons (why are you giving away your secret recipes?) or time constraints (how are you going to get the recipe from the chef in the middle of his or her shift?).
98. Do not wear too much makeup or jewelry. You know you have too much jewelry when it jingles and/or draws comments.
Eh. This is about the waiter's/waitress's personality. I don't see how it would affect a meal.
99. Do not show frustration. Your only mission is to serve. Be patient. It is not easy.
100. Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a “good table” your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.
Hey look, I think that would be super-cool if I were at the table that was bestowed with such an honor. But why is this any different than his previous admonition (#42) not to compliment a guest's hair/makeup/attire/etc.? Here you are complimenting a table's behavior -- and by default, you are insulting any tables around them, who might notice the preferential treatment -- or guests at that table, who may have been there in the past and not received this (or who will not receive it in the future). I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying Bruce contradicts himself several times. If you're going to give your staff 100 rules -- make it a little easier and make them all make sense with one another!
Photo credit:
Lazy waiter, Cartoon Stock
